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Post by JG26_Scannon on Jun 8, 2006 14:12:51 GMT -5
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
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Post by I/KG26_Redcoat on Jun 8, 2006 14:55:23 GMT -5
Somthing thats bothers me everytime I eat cornflakes is, who was the first human to discover how to get milk out of a cow, and what the hell did he think he was doing at the time?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2006 4:35:51 GMT -5
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.
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Post by JG26_Malino on Jun 9, 2006 7:21:59 GMT -5
sort of on-topic:
"I often compare Mararet Thatcher to Florence Nightingale. She stalks through the wards of our hospitals as a lady with a lamp. Unfortunatly in her case it's a blowtorch"
Dennis Healey when asked to describe Margaret Thatcher
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Post by JG26_Without on Jun 9, 2006 7:39:43 GMT -5
Why waste money on things like binoculars.Simply stand closer to the object you wish to observe.
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Post by JG26_Scannon on Jun 9, 2006 14:23:48 GMT -5
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2006 0:22:27 GMT -5
We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2006 6:55:08 GMT -5
I don't think I'm ever more "aware" than I am right after I hit my thumb with a hammer.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2006 2:13:42 GMT -5
Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet.
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Post by JG26_Scannon on Jun 12, 2006 10:37:57 GMT -5
If you're a cowboy, and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
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